my last days at urbanite

Wouldn't you know it? As soon as I landed my first cover, I was downsized due to the economic turmoil. Initially I was shocked, but I had the weekend to mellow out and begin my personal economic bailout plan. While working on my plan I decided to write these Ground Rules for My Last Days at Urbanite to send to my coworkers. These rules apply to my family and friends as well.

Read carefully and avoid the following:

1. There will be absolutely no crying or looking at me with those big sad eyes. The first person who cries will be punched in the nose.
2. Please don't stop by my desk offering apologies. It's not your fault and it's not Urbanite's fault; but if you offer an apology, I will hold you personally accountable (and punch you in the nose).
3. Do not feel sorry for me. Feeling sorry for me implies that you don't believe I have the skills, determination or talent to make lemonade from this situation. The offender will probably be punched in the nose.
   
4. Do not attempt to hug me or pat me on the shoulder. These acts will make me feel like you're feeling sorry for me, and you know how I feel about that.
5. And the most important rule-There will be absolutely no going away parties. I appreciate the sentiment but I find them extremely uncomfortable and depressing. And when I get depressed, I usually punch people in the nose.
   

Constructive ways to show your support:

1. Subscribe to my blog, read a few posts and leave comments. http://lakayephotography.blogspot.com. Comments are awesome and they make me feel like you care.
   
2. Hire me! I would love to continue to shoot for the magazine. I especially love to shoot the food reviews cuz they come with free food! Also, did you know that I shoot family portraits? For those of you daring enough, I also shoot boudoir. Read more about my holiday specials here:
   http://lakayephotography.blogspot.com/2008/12/holiday-portrait-special.html.
3. Help me market my business. I have a stack of fliers, business cards and resumes at the front desk. Chat me up to your friends with babies or who are getting married. Sing my praises to your jewelry-making, art gallery owning, clothing & accessories designing, small-business-owning friends. Casually mention me in your conversations to your industry contacts. Tell your clients their photos suck and they should hire me to shoot instead. (just kidding about that last one...maybe)
   
4. Become a fan of my Facebook business page.
5. Invite me over for dinner.
6. Write a testimonial for me on Flickr or write a recommendation for me on LinkedIn.
7. Offer words of wisdom. If you've started a business or survived hard economic times, please offer your advice.
8. Stay in touch. After the end of the month, you can reach me by email at lakayem@gmail.com.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

Your pal,

La Kaye